Tuesday, June 10, 2003

 

Day 47. Wednesday 11 June 2003. A Day in Ponteland

We spent a lazy day today. Pat with David's wife Moira went shopping. David and I spent the morning talking; at least I did most of the talking with David asking the occasional question. David finds his speech impediment from his stroke a nuisance. His mind is very active but it is an effort to talk and frustrating trying to have his mangled speech understood by someone else.

He was patient with me when I didn't understand what he said and slowly repeated what he said. After a while I got used to his speech and followed him better. It hurt to see him like this and I felt sadness remembering the David I once knew as boy and man, later to become Head of Department of both Science and Mathematics at Newcastle Polytechnic.

His stroke as well as affecting his speech had also rendered his right hand weak and caused him writing difficulties. On the plus side he could still drive his car and continue to walk.

As I talked I described to him our visit to West Cumbria, what we had seen and found. We talked of his book, his life story now privately printed as a present from one of his daughters. He later gave me the draft copy notes of his book as used in the printing process. Much of his book featured his Brough grandfather, uncles and aunts who were mine too.

The garden was Moira's pride and joy, a lovely private place in this leafy suburb of Ponteland. Walking with David in the quiet streets on this warm sunny day it could have been a leafy New Zealand suburb.

We all went out to lunch to a largish pub with very large meals. Senior's got it for half price providing they asked during ordering. I saw the written notice and alerted everyone to the fact. I was glad when Pat slipped away and paid the bill. In the afternoon Pat slept, not being used to heavy lunchtime meals.

That evening David went to help one of his daughters, her husband suffered from cancer and had taken a turn for the worse. We sat with Moira and she talked of life with David after his stroke and his speech and memory problems and her loneliness of no longer able to hold a normal conversation with David. My heart went out to her, even though he could have been worse. I think she had to get it off her chest to someone and that someone one step removed from the immediate family is often better than the immediate family.

She also talked of Dace and Kate, David's parents. Kate was my mother's younger sister. The happy joking Dace was not the real Dace. There was another side to Dace. Later as I closely read David's life story I could understand reading between the lines what Moira meant. Moira was not too fond of Dace. On the other hand Moira loved David's mother Kate. The same bright and breezy aunt Kate I remember as a boy whom I also thought the world of as a child.

I quite liked the straight to the point Moira and the apple of her eye after David, Lara the Labrador, absolutely spoilt by both she and David. She made us very welcome even turning out of her and David's bed to make us more comfortable.

During our stay I felt comfortable with David. As we sat together I felt like he was more like a brother than a cousin. It felt as it feels when I am sitting and talking with John... I can't quite put it into words on paper but it is a pleasant relaxed feeling... comfortable. Probably it is the affinity of the same genes in all of us... it would have to be the Brough genes, common to all of us. I see the same comfortable atmosphere when Gillian, Anthony or Ian are talking together, sharing confidences.

We leave tomorrow and I don't want to. I don't think Pat does either she too found the atmosphere pleasant.

I searched for a good web site of Ponteland. There were plenty but nothing really appropriate, just sites of individual organisations

posted by OldEric 11:54 am